But within a few months, I realized there was no happy future with this person-he either didn’t care enough about me or was incapable of a secure intimate relationship. It was initially very painful, and I questioned if I had pulled the plug too quickly. Heeding my dad’s warning, I ended things abruptly. In my twenties, I dated a guy who ran cold and hot with me, leaving me insecure and obsessing over the relationship. If you have to convince someone of how great you are, they shouldn’t be in your top spot.” I opted out of the competition the next day.Īdults are subtler than Jason was, but my father’s “top spot” lesson was a valuable one. My dad got wind of this top five system and sat me down to say, “Never wait to be in somebody’s top spot. I still remember the elation when I edged out my friend Caroline for the top spot.
Whoever took the top spot for the day was the girl Jason decided he was “going with.” (Was “going with” a thing in everyone’s elementary school or just in suburban Minnesota? What did that even mean?) He would make a list each day of the five girls he thought were the cutest. Jason was the object of affection for seemingly every third-grade girl. “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.” ~ Ernest HemingwayĪt Eagle Point Elementary, where I went for third grade, there was one very cute boy.
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